Burning, Burning

Here I am, after taking some of my fellow bloggers' fabulous advice, straight off the treadmill, riding high on workout endorphins (and not a little lactic acid!)... burn out? Me??? Never!

Well, okay. I'm trying.

This nursing thing is a roller coaster. A lot like life in general. Good days, bad days. I try not to carry too much of it with me, but apparently am not completely successful in this endeavor. The work dreams are not a rarity. They happen almost every weekend, and occasionally during the week. I'm hoping they're just my mind's way of decompressing.

On the one hand, nursing is a great career. Talk about job stability. They're practically beating down our doors to offer jobs to qualified nurses! I'll always have multiple avenues of practice available if I become unsatisfied with the work that I do now. And I still look forward to most of my shifts, have a sense of camaraderie with my coworkers, enjoy the way my schedule works with my life (most of the time), and am forever in awe of the breathtaking moments my job allows me to witness.

But there are other moments, too. Anyone who has read my blog before can attest to the heavy amount of skepticism I hold for the hospital establishment and the system in general. Paperwork and charting are significantly overvalued in a legalistic atmosphere that reeks of the fear of liability and malpractice. Night shift is great, but my body does not always agree... I've become accustomed to a certain amount of fatigue and fuzziness that never really goes away. And on... and on...

So what, you say?

Nothin' really... these were just a few of my thoughts while burning calories and trying not to burn out.

And the Meme Goes On...

Fabulous!

/jo and Kim have both posted their *must-have* lists, and tagged a few of my other favorite bloggers...

This meme is proving to be an interesting glimpse inside other nurses' heads.

How do you come up with the four things you really think you can't live without?
Where do you start?
Where do you draw the line?

What do you covet?
What do you really desire that is just beyond your grasp?

These are not things we often sit down and mull over, unless prompted.



I found "What I Covet" to be most challenging and revealing. There are any number of things that I'd really like to have, but when the thought of a real vacation occurred, I could feel my heart beat a little faster, my adrenaline begin to surge. I usually put desires like this far from my conscious mind because I know how unlikely they are to become reality, at least anytime soon. But all the same, we must have something to dream about, something for which to strive. The mental pictures evoked by thoughts of a leisurely stroll through the cobblestone streets of a small Italian village, a vigorous walk up the winding staircase at the Basilique de Sacre-Coeur, an hour or two or four wandering the halls of any museum. For whatever reason, these images motivate me, give me that essential burst of energy, that ray of hope that there may be more to this than day in, day out, week after week. A peek into the future, if I can hold onto it and make it mine.

I'm off to save the world, or at the very least a bunch of moms and babies!

Things I Can't Live Without

Inspiration strikes! (finally.)


Well, ok. Shane tagged me, so I'm more or less compelled to seek out the inspiration to write... but this was fun, and I look forward to reading others' responses as well. Keep tabs on everyone who's been tagged for this meme at the Nursing Jobs blog.


I had to laugh while browsing through a few of the past "Things I Can't Live Without" articles on Inc.com, looking for that ever-elusive inspiration. The successful business owners who have been interviewed elaborate on the objects of value in their daily professional lives. They *can't live* without a whole lotta really expensive gadgets and gizmos. This is not what I had first planned to blog about when I imagined the most important aspects of my working world. I was thinking more along the lines of: I can't live without sleep, I can't live without the constant intellectual and emotional support of my co-workers, I can't live without hugs from my kids when I walk in the door...




In the interest of sticking to the topic, I'll conform to the heart of the idea. I'm not sure I can narrow it down to just four, but then again, my "things" aren't quite as extravagant as those Inc 500 folks, either. Keeping it simple and honest, here are the "things" that I can't live without:



Dansko Clogs $104.95

I heart my clogs. In all seriousness, I could not live without them, as my feet would likely go on strike. And with the miles I put on every night I work, this is not an option. I flirted with a few months of plantar fasciitis a couple of years ago, and don't care to be debilitated like that ever again. These clogs are awesome, durable, supportive, and best of all... blood and amniotic fluid-proof! They are worth the chunk of change.







At the same time, clogs and sterile blue scrubs are terribly bo-ring! Comfortable, but come ON. It's like wearing unflattering pajamas to work every night. So, I have about a gazillion pairs of fun socks, just to spice it up a bit, even if I'm the only one that can see them. I know they're there.



Johnson's softcream extra care healing hand cream $4.79

The effect of washing your hands approximately 501 times every night? Hands that are raw, chapped, cracking at the knuckles, and peeling between the fingers. Argh! I love this lotion, and it works.


bandage scissors $3.99

I keep a pair of my own bandage scissors in the back pocket of my scrubs, and I use them constantly throughout the night. Who knew that something so rudimentary could be absolutely essential?

clicky pens



Gotta love drug reps. Well, ok, not really. But I do love the pens that they leave lying around, usually transported to L&D in the pockets of the various docs that constitute a steady stream through the unit all day and night. I always like to have at least one "clicky" pen in my pocket... they're more user-friendly and they don't go launching out of my pocket every time I bend over like the regular Bic ones do.



However, I was flabbergasted to find these pens for sale on e-Bay. Hellooooo, people... they're FREE!


Confessions on the Dance Floor by Madonna $12.99



Ok, I admit it. I'm a Madonna fan. I just can't help it. This CD gets me psyched up for working, working out, doing laundry, whatever. When I'm not listening to NPR on the way to work, I'm listening to this for a guaranteed burst of energy.


What I Covet ...

A real vacation. $$$ way-more-than-I-can-afford.99


It's been years. Ideally, I'd love to take a trip to Europe. Doesn't even really matter where... England, France, the Netherlands, Italy, Spain. I'd take any or all of them, preferably with ample time for mindless wandering, lots of picture-taking, exploring castles and cemeteries, visiting museums and lounging at charming cafes. Ohhhhhh...



Who's Next...


I can't resist tagging Kim at Emergiblog. She's one of my favorite bloggers, plus I'm interested to see what "things" she can't live without!

JustCallMeJo over at Sinus Arrhythmia has an insightful and quirky take on the world of ICU nursing. What can't you live without, /jo?

Tag, you're it!

Plus, go check out Beth's "things" at PixelRN. Enjoy!

How Will Nurse Blogging Change You?

Since embarking on this nurse blog journey, I've noticed several changes in myself, both practical and philosophical. Perhaps these are changes that would have occurred in the natural evolution of my nursing career... I'll never know.

I am increasingly aware of issues about which I would never have given a second thought, and I have started to apply what I'm learning at the bedside. I've also found myself becoming more lucid and verbal in work-related situations which I previously would probably have either ignored or gone with the status quo. Lately, I look at nursing issues (and sometimes life as a whole) from a new and wider perspective.

Take some time blog-hopping, described here by the Curmudgeon. Or simply read through a few of the links on my sidebar. You'll see what I mean.

I have to conclude that reading up on the opinions and experiences of the other medical bloggers out there, and responding or at least pondering a response, has changed me. Perhaps not always for the better. I have to admit I've been caught up from time to time, mindlessly lurking from one blog to the next, soaking up useless and sometimes utterly personal information from the multitude of blogs available.

However, if I peruse with a purpose (wink), sometimes I am struck with inspiration. To change my practice, adjust my attitude, or be called to action. All of which, I find, are stretching my limits and my yearning for growth and knowledge anew.

At times, I am also discouraged by what I read. I must confess that I am humbled by the bloggers whom I admire, those who write both prolifically and eloquently on a level to which I aspire. But if I stay silent until I measure up, this blog will lay dormant forever. It is those I seek to emulate who make me both afraid to click the "Publish" button and compelled to do so.

Speaking of my heroes, you can read Kim's ideas for beginning nurse bloggers here. See what I mean? Witty, comprehensive, insightful? Check, check, and check.

I'd love to hear how blogging has changed YOU... for better or worse. After all, this dialogue is what blogging is all about.

Or something.

Ewwwwww!

This RN's definition of "gross".

We each have our own niche, our own interests... our own comfort zone. For registered nurses, the sight of blood and body fluids, parts and procedures is typically less gruesome than it may be for the lay population (I hope). However, even within the nursing universe, that which turns our stomachs and leaves us feeling green can vary widely.

For instance, I'm comfortable with vaginas. (I'll spare you the visual aid here... I said I was comfortable with them. Doesn't mean I think they're worth looking at.) I have no qualms about saying that. And it's a good thing, for obvious reasons. In obstetric nursing, and particularly in labor & delivery, the vagina is simply a means to an end. A few of my friends from nursing school have said, "How can you handle that, down there?" Even patients are occasionally embarassed about nursing care they receive, such as the intimate care that we may have to assist with in the bathroom after delivery. I've had more than one patient comment, "You must really hate this part of your job." It's difficult for me to explain and probably even harder for them to understand, but those things just don't bother me.

However, there are some things that do.















I think eyes are YUCK. Not to look at from across the room. Not to gaze into on the countenance of your loved one. To examine, to touch and to fix. I'm fortunate enough to have good vision and have therefore never needed glasses or contacts. Thank goodness, because I'm pretty sure regular eye exams would kill me. As luck would have it, one night at work, we were discussing the benefits of laser eye surgery and I mentioned my eye phobia (it went something like, "Argh! Stop talking about that! Eyes are so gross!"). No joke, a few hours later I somehow managed to flick a piece of plastic into my eye. After trying desperately for half an hour to stop blinking and tearing like a faucet, my coworkers convinced me to go downstairs and have it checked out. An hour later, you would think I'd been purposely sent to the ED for a course of torture... first the numbing drops, shine a bright light in my eye, wait for the numbing drops to work, put orange liquid in my eye, shine an ultraviolet light in my eye while my head is being held still with a big metal contraption, wait for the attending, shine the ultraviolet thingy again and both come up with the brilliant conclusion that "That's a BIG corneal abrasion. It must hurt!" Thanks. And YUCK. Just gimme my Vicodin and erythromycin, and I'll blink my way back up to OB.




Not much further to the south is the mouth. I give dental hygeniests all the credit here... just as I'm often the one who gets to push for three hours with a patient so that the physician can come in with a catcher's mitt and look like the hero, the hygeniest is the one who gets to do all the picking and plucking, rinsing and buffing so that the dentist can take a peek in there at the end of the appointment and declare the state of tooth health or decay. Blech! I can't imagine what it's like when they get a really nasty mouth. And I've seen them... fortunately from a safe distance!






Somewhere around the middle is the belly button. Now, I realize that this one is totally irrational. Be that as it may, I have a total phobia about belly buttons... my own in particular, and those of others as well. I have good reason for appreciating it's functionality for babies in utero and once born. However, the fact that there's still a hole there... ugh. Anyone who's had to prep an abdomen for surgery and used the big ol' Q-tips specifically made for "cleaning out" that particular little breeding ground can perhaps appreciate that it really makes me want to gag just thinking about it! What else have you got hiding in there?




And finally, at the bottom, feet. Double-YUCK! One of the residents felt the need to elaborate on his athlete's foot problem the other night, and I just about started gagging right there at the desk. Thanks for sharing! Check out the Foot Blog for more gory details. I give foot docs a lot of credit for "going there". Ew! I prefer to ensconce my feet safely in their Dansko clogs and not think about what might be going on in that warm, little night club between my toes.

There you have it. My definition of gross. Totally irrelevant to nursing practice or theory. I guess we can file this one under "amusement." (See my first post.)

It's important to know yourself and what you can (and can't) handle. Anyone care to add to or elaborate on the topic? What is your definition of gross?